didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
