This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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