exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
