oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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