....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
