C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
