i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
