he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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