He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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