Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize