is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Randomize
