Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Operation Purity has been aborted
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize