what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
