Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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