No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
