do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I'd cum for enchiladas.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
