i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
