uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
