I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I believe in your delicious
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
