With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
