Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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