theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i think i have two assholes
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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