We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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