i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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