He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
