Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
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Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
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3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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