I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
