I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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