I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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