What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
