I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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