i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
