Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
you never un-have a 4some
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
