yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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