I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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