from now on my penis is your penis
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize