whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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