i jhust puked up my retainher.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
