Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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