Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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