Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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