I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I see more hoeing in ur future
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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