I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
