Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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