I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
