Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
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I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
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Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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