So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
