he told me I talked like a deaf person
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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