Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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