We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
