i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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