He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
