I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
