they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I understand Curling. That high.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
