Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
