my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
