Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
So vagazzling was a success
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
