Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
