I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
