Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
