Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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