ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
