Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
